A few days ago our family was walking through Home Depot when Chevelle saw all the lawn furniture set up. ‘Oooo mommy, we could put these on the deck and umbrellas and tables and barbecues and have our friends over and have hamburgers.’ This explains Chevelle pretty well:) She has come to love planning, explaining and inviting. And to top it off this morning she was telling me how she makes her bed so her friends can come over for her spring party. She is my little first born, that is for sure.
All of this got me thinking, is it wrong for me to encourage this, is it a bad thing that she feels she needs to clean, so that. I have explained to her that cleaning isn’t necessary for people to come over or for life in general but I enjoy having a clean house, but is that enough? Am I wrong in encouraging her to do things in a certain order? Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect, but I make an effort (and lately a much bigger one) to have a clean organized house. You know why? Because I enjoy it! And it helps me to be more productive. There I said it. I love organizing, I love cleaning (sorta). I love purging. I love planning and decorating and presentation. I love matching and creating and I will teach my kids how to as well. Why? Because they are my kids. And if they grow up and decide they don’t like it? Then I am 100% ok with that.
I’ve read so many great posts on either side of this lately, but I feel like they are all missing one aspect. One aspect that I feel is ridiculously important when it comes to all of this. To group all ‘parents’ in the same definition of the word isn’t only slightly ridiculous, it’s limiting. None of us grew up the same way, went to the same school, have the same friends, watched the same TV shows nor do we have the same gifts , abilities, and talents, all in the same amounts. We are not all the same even in the slightest. And even as adults we’ve changed, we’ve grown differently, we’ve chosen different paths in careers, downtimes, and traveling. I could keep listing things but you get it.
And to top it all off, WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT PERSONALITIES!!
Have you taken a personality test? They’re awesome. You can take ones on Facebook, they give you the same answers as all your friends. Just kidding don’t do that, there are lots of good ones, but the one that I’ve taken that was my favorite was one called the DISC system. I encourage you to check it out. It suggests that there are four main personality types and we are all a combination of four. Not to limit you, but to show you what you generally lean towards in certain situations. Along with personality tests, I encourage you to check out Dr. Kevin Lehman’s book ‘The birth order book’. It explains generally how our place in our birth order affects our personality.
If you take all of this into consideration, it’s no wonder that no parents can agree on how to raise their children. And there’s nothing wrong with that, every child is different, every parent is different and that’s what makes us unique individuals in our own family. Sure there is important aspects like food, clothes, shelter, love. But how we go about them is unique to our own families and their own kids.
I’m going to pick on cleaning because I’ve run into this several times with people. I’ve had people tell me that they don’t like when people’s houses are to clean because you don’t feel comfortable going there. To that I would say if you don’t feel comfortable going to a clean house, that’s on you, not them. They are not lying or pretending they are perfect. Maybe they just like cleaning up and presenting their home like that. To be honest, one of the things I like most about company is how well the house gets cleaned prior:) Its so relaxing to hang out in a clean house, and offer your company coffee and know there will be a clean cup 🙂
Adulting is hard enough. Lets be kind to ourselves and others. We are all figuring ourselves and the world out as we go. Peace out everyone. I’m going to go clean my kitchen…. just kidding. I’m going to cruise the internet and go to bed. 6am is coming to soon.
Jasmine Jean 